I don't know what I did to deserve friends like this

S-Want me to stop being a distraction?
M-Please don’t.
S-As you wish my love, so seriously I know that feeling useless when your friends need help is soul destroying. You doing okay with that?
M-It’s pretty rough, Trying to keep a lot of people afloat right now and I don’t always know how.
S-Well, with my vast life experience(since I’m fucking old), what everyone tells me (and I ignore) is to ensure you are able to swim before you help.
M-I was but you get tired sometimes. Swimming is hard work
S-It’s a bitch. Have you tried flippers?
M-Do you have some I could borrow??
S-Yep! Babycakes, I’m your flippers!!!
M-I think that may be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said. Possibly ever.
S-Well I do love you.
M-I love you too :)
S-Oh love, by the way, don’t worry about me sinking....I’m scuba certified.
M-There are no oceans in Austria!
S-It’s cool, no worries darling...I’ll just flop around till you laugh your worries away.
M-How did this just become the perfect metaphor for our friendship?
S-Because I’m amazing...but you’re better.
M-A good team?
S-Yessir, at your command.
M-I’m not a sir. Good thing you didn’t join the military...