I spent the first half of break doing college apps. Roque had to take my Facebook away so that I could get Stanford done. Now I'm all done except I might apply to Puget Sound on the fifteenth but all that will require is a little essay. Now I'm on to scholarship apps and essays, so it's not really that much of a relief to be done. I'm surprised i got as much of my to-do list done over break, I was sure I wasn't when New Years rolled around and all I'd accomplished was my college apps. I still have a bunch of Project Backpack stuff to do and all my English homework but I think I can get it done.
I can't believe I'm a second semester senior. It's so surreal. I wouldn't say that the first semester went by slow, it just went by naturally. It was a ton of fun because my class is so close now, and exciting because of college and graduation that was blissfully impending but far enough away to not be a pressing issue, just something to look forward to. Now it seems as if there's no time left even though it's really six months. It feels strange. Before this, life has been so planned, so certain. You progress from grade to grade for twelve years and then you graduate... and all structure is gone. You don't have to go to college. It weirds me out that people don't. What do you do besides go to college? And then after college... it's so empty. It's like a timeline that's loped off. It kinda freaks me out. Suddenly the world isn't so secure anymore.
But I really do need to get out of here. I'm so excited but I still have no idea where I want to go.
I stumbledupon this. StumbleUpon is great. This is very much like what happened to me and my view on life without the panic attacks and depression. Same telos, different scopos.
I've always found a correlation in my life between lawlessness and faith. The people that I know that are most free and often engage in things discouraged by religion are often those who most adamantly profess their faith. This hypocritical nature is one of the things that turned me off to religion and really highlighted the use of religion as a crutch. Those people engage in that type of behavior because they magnify their limited, sound-byte ideas of faith and manipulate it to their will. They say they will be forgiven. Really its just a cop out for self control because they show no regret nor any inclination to halt the damaging behavior.
