schönes Wochenende

Ahhhh. The beauty of weekends.

Friday, Wyatt and I finally got off campus and went to a really lovely dinner at PF Changs. We ate a ridiculous amount and then we went for a walk downtown. We wandered into Powell's(more like I dragged him, but he liked it) and after a good while just wandering, I shared with him my love for the German section. We read Die Große Panda and The Rainbowfish in German and it was all fun and games until I showed him the "Dirty German" book. We spent a good forty-five minutes reading all the dirty bad words like penispirat, spermalanza, and gummi. Meinen albern Fuzzi :) Then we played Wii till 2 AM and I crashed hard.

Saturdayf Amelia tricked me into going to Saturday market. We picked out this super awesome Tibetan wall hanging of the tree of life for our year next year. Then she had to go creep on people in a coffeehouse for sociology for a few hours so I decided I was going to try to find the Northface by PF Chang's the night before. I got WONDERFULLY and COMPLETELY lost in Portland. I love the public transportation here. I find something new every time. I found some really awesome courthouse buildings and FROYO! So finally I found it after two hours. They didn't really have the backpacks I was looking at online so I think I'll wait until I get home to get one (or two, as I'm now realizing I might need a travel one and a regular one!). Then I met back up with Amelia and got my haircut and we made it back to school in time for Guam night! It was delicious. By this time I was quite tired so I settled down for the night with our wing party decorating Easter eggs and making calzones. Sheridan had never painted an Easter egg before in her life! Then we watched 101 Dalmatians :) I'm going on another Disney streak again.


Sunday morning I got lots of sleeping accomplished. When I finally tried to do some homework, it turns out that with the new syllabus, I'd already completed the marketing homework for this week. Therefore, without the typical 5 to 6 hours of marketing homework, I was able to execute my Easter plans.

I made all my friends Easter baskets and, drumroll please, used Annie's coco crispies to make it look like bunny poop! Hehe, I was so excited all week. Amelia was the only one who caught me so I had to put on the Bunny Ears and hop away. Wyatt ruined the surprise so he got this:


I'm going to his house for Easter and I'm excited/nervous but I really loved his family so it should be awesome! This week can't be over soon enough! Only have to make it through Thursday morning!

Boys and girls watch each other eat, when really they just wanna watch each other sleep

Today was stressful. All of my friends are have mid-semester mid-life crises all at once and it's hard to handle. I'm a helper and there's not much I can do for any of them this time. It's super frustrating and bringing me down.

On the bright side, I went to the library to get away from it all and I was super productive.





And that troublemaker helps. He said best. He's not dependent on me and I think that's one of the reasons I'm so attracted to him. But that has its own crisis, doesn't it.

I'm not ready for summer. I want time.

Come on baby, compliment me

i love i love i love
how we are exactly the same in all the right ways
but that we can also be so different
i like to share, you prefer to listen
your left hand in my right


Put your hands to my hands
Put your knees to my knees
Put your eyes to my eyes
Come on baby compliment me

Cause I don’t think that we
Should ever feel the need to worry
Ever get ourselves in a hurry
You know I love you
I know you love me

So time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

And this love will build
Through flights and streets
In the end I predict
You’ll get the very best of me

So put your lips to my lips
Why not go on and take all of it
And just run as fast as you can
Just cause you can

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

I am almost 23
Confused with all the lines in between
They are dying to be read
Softly spoken simply said

Tell me do you believe
In the girl that is me
With her feet to your feet
Well that’s all that I need

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

come and open up your folding chair next to me

"all i have to say to you is that the red fern grows in raspberry fields left of your vagina, or if you prefer, west of your third nipple."

poetry. hahhahaha.

i love the insanity. i love how anything goes. nothing is too ridiculous or too silly.



woooo. found out that The Hill is going to be published in the Writer's Magazine. I'm so not ready for school and our pre-frosh and Salzburg meeting tomorrow.

good thing I've got you babe.

Article on my Spring Break

Unshaven, dirty and dingy, seventy people sit, their hands, feet and midriffs chained, in a Tucson Federal court. The sight is so overwhelming in its absurdity and its severity that it most closely resembles the slave trade in early American history.
What is the crime that these people have committed? Surely they must be criminals of the highest degree, murders, rapists, or drug dealers to be restrained so exhaustively.

The looks of bewilderment and fear in their eyes contest this indication of debauchery. In fact, these people have no criminal history at all. They now stand before a federal court as a part of Operation Streamline, a law that requires the
Federal criminal prosecution and imprisonment of all unlawful border crossers, and specifically targeting migrant workers who have committed no other crimes.

This program is intended as a deterrent to prevent illegal border crossers. Agent Stagg of Border Patrol Tucson insists that increased border security and harsher enforcement of border policies are in direct response to the increased terrorist threat after 9/11 and the increased violence and drug trade in Mexico.

However, recent statistics and report by the Warren Institute indicate that deterrence programs like Operation Streamline are actually encouraging drug trade and human smuggling. According to an analysis by Syracuse University, Operation Streamline has skyrocketed illegal entry prosecutions to over 50% of the Federal agenda in Arizona, while the drug and human smuggling charges dropped from over 25% of total prosecutions to about 5% from 2003 to 2008.

Not only does Operation Streamline divert important resources from fighting more serious crimes, it tries to stem immigration without assessing the root causes of migration. Much like Operations Hold the Line, Gatekeeper, and Safeguard that tightened security in major urban areas only to push migrants out into more perilous desert territories and often to death, Operation Streamline does not slow immigration, it simply reroutes the problem with increased risk.

In Mexico, even a worker employed in a relatively well paying factory job would still need to spend roughly 80% of their weekly paycheck to buy the most basic groceries. Migrants headed for the border at a shelter in Altar, Mexico, many as young as sixteen or seventeen years old, described their mission with eerily simplistic and unwavering purpose, “Queramos una major vida-We want a better life.” Many cited the lack of jobs in their home states, especially in Southern Mexico, and the necessity to earn a higher wage to support aging parents or young children.

The US may actually be guilty of creating some of the economic causes of immigration. Author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma, Michael Pollan points out, the US currently grows 10 billion bushels of corn on enough acreage to cover roughly twice the size of the state of New York. Corn production has grown so rapidly, the market simply cannot support the massive amounts of corn being produced. The US government steps in with over $25 billion dollars in subsidies.

While this helps the corn farmers stay afloat in the US, there is still excess corn flooding the market. Because of the North American Free Trade agreement, the US can export this excess to Mexico for free. This influx of cheap corn floods the foreign markets, dramatically lowering the price of corn.

Native farmers can’t compete with the imported corn that subsidies allow to be sold for even less than it takes to grow. These farmers can’t afford to grow their own crops anymore and they lose their livelihood. Pollan reports that in 2007, 1.5 million Mexican farmers were pushed off their land.

Without the ability to sustain themselves in their homeland, many migrants have no choice but to uproot and look for work elsewhere. For thousands, the desire simply to survive outweighs the dangers posed by crossing the border. Yet, with projects like Operation Streamline, migrants are forced to resort to more desperate measures to cope with the new obstacles.

Robert Kinney, head of the Las Cruces Federal Defender’s Office, says people in his community refer to Operation Streamline as “a coyote employment Bill,” because with the higher stakes, people are hoping that experienced coyotes can successfully navigate them away from areas affected by Operation Streamline. Not only must coyotes pay the drug traffickers who control all routes to the border, the huge demand and the consequent dividends for trafficking drugs into the United States can make the drug trade an enticing prospect to people with little other economic choice.

Graffiti plastered over the Mexican side of the border wall captures the frustration of the migrant dilemma most succinctly; the portrait of a migrant kneeling before a Border Patrol agent holding a gun to the migrant’s head reads, “we live to be free, we die to escape slavery”.

obsessed

Albums:
Regina Spektor- Far
Matt Costa-Songs We Sing
Band of Horses-Everything all the Time and Cease to Begin
Anya Marina- Slow and Steady Seduction: Part II
Landon Pigg- The Boy Who Never
Julia Nunes Covers

Songs:
High Times-Landon Pigg
Lollipop Rexmix-Squeak E. Clean & Desert Eagles
Mother Nature-Sondre Lerche
She is Love-Parachute
Hallelujah- Martin Sexton


mmmmm playlist deliciousness...

We sit on front porches and swing life away

let's compare scars and i'll tell you whose is worse.



Sometimes it amazes me how you think you have grasp of a spectrum. A spectrum of good and bad, of happy and sad, of blessedness and suffering.

When I woke up it was just another day. School was annoying. People were stressed for tests. People were leaving for break.

I felt like I didn't have anything big left to do, just tons of small errands. Running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I felt like I was getting no where and accomplishing nothing but wearing myself down.

Before I knew it, it was time to go to the Service Plunge seminar. I was flustered, I wanted a nap, I wanted to spend time with Wyatt before we had to go, I wanted to be excited for my trip. I didn't want someone to lecture at me.

But they didn't. We put away the chairs and we played "step to the line". You split into two lines, facing each other with a line drawn down the midde. You're asked questions, ranging from general to specific, on a variety of topics- your family relations, your religion, your life goals, your politics, your views on sex. If your response is “yes” to any of the questions, you step toward the line indicating your degree of agreement with the statement.

The craziest thing about it was that it promoted solidarity and diversity all at once. Before I wasn't sure that they could go hand in hand. They seemed almost paradoxical.

It was slightly nerve wracking. You didn't get to explain or justify your choices. Sometimes you had to stick out. You had to be comfortable with your choices to stand out for them. But it was refreshing to reveal the deeper, more important things about yourself and to get to know them about others. It broke down the facades that we piece together, the things that we assume based on what little knowledge we have about others. I learned thing that you can't ask, things that would never come up, but are so essential to who we are and how we define ourselves. It felt like Kairos. There was truth. It's amazing how surface level the majority of our interactions are in life. But today felt liberating. It tapped into that well inside me that I get from retreats and service. I love that feeling. It's powerful and empowering. I feel connected. I feel driven.

Then I came home and napped and then finished Der Tunnel. That was an intense movie. Really intense. It's weird because since I've been at school, I don't really cry. I'm used to being a crybaby. It used to take one harsh word from someone I cared about to make me cry. I don't cry here. I cried a little bit when I was talking to Aiden about his breakdown. But things that aren't personal don't make me cry anymore. In a way, it's nice. It's no longer ridiculous. But it's also scary. I feel like I'm becoming desensitized. I don't like that. It's apathetic. Apathy is the opposite of love. What was happening to these people was just so incomprehensible. I just could begin to fathom what they were going through. It wasn't that I didn't think it was sad, I just couldn't understand it.

Then I had a talk with Maya. She always says how people don't really know her. That used to be confusing because I thought that I knew her pretty well. But she's jsut been through so much that it's so hard to comprehend her. I knew she'd been through a lot with her dad but I never knew it was on so many levels. Everyday she lives with the fact that she has lost her dad and all her aunts and uncles to a disease that she and her brother have a 50% chance of having. That is a lot of weight to put on a person so young. And yet, she is the most joyful, grounded person in my life. It's incredible. We've come from radically different places with different environments, but we're so similar.

I feel refreshed. Sad, but refreshed. I don't like it, but if Maya can make the best of it, so can I. I love you, boo.

After an afternoon

I bare my windowed self untamed and untrained
But there's something in the way you laugh
And it makes me feel like a child
Aspects of life they confuse me
You and your thesis amuse me
Oh, after and afternoon with you
And your rich brown eyes
Your lips and dark hair
Elbows and exposed knees tossing toward the ceiling
After an after, after an after, after an afternoon
After an after, after an afternoon with you

face to palm
tear to tear
mouth to tongue
heart to ground
heart to ground

goodness gracious it's been such a long day. It still has not registered with me that within a week I'll be in Mexico on the Border Plunge. School is just too insane right now. Probably 10 hours of sleep over three days. Two days to go. I've just gotta make it to Wednesday. Since when is it Spring Break? I just want this semester to last as long as possible. I am so excited for Salzburg but I love everyone here so much. Time for some well deserved sleep. Goodnight moon.

heart to ground
well maybe, maybe baby
i am in love

:)

Goodness gracious.


I've gotten NO homework done, but I had so much fun not doing it.

Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.

I've got a Wocket in my Pocket.