I'm back...(no pun intended)

And I've got heart and back problems. But the trip was still AMAZING. I'll put up more about it later, but right now I'm filling out like a ten page long survey on my health for my visit to the back doctor tomorrow. I went and got the x-rays this morning. I'm really surprised that I haven't started glowing in my nether regions seeing as I've had so many x-rays there already. My hips, my tailbone, now this. Why can't I just get a broken arm like normal people?

So as I am fillign this out, I start thinking about my hips. I get this a lot.

them:"You have six inch titanium pins in your hips?!?! You broke them?"

me: "Yes I do, but no I didn't break them. It's called a slipped capital femoral epiphysis(E-piff-uh-sis)."

them: o_0

Story of my life.

Anyway, I was looking up some medical words like tachycardia and palpitation to make sure I was spelling them right and decided to just browse around the information on slipped capital femoral epiphysis just because it is so RANDOM. I found that I have the worst luck in the world.

"A slipped capital femoral epiphysis is a separation of the ball of the hip joint from the thigh bone (femur) at the upper growing end (growth plate) of the bone."-PennHealth.com

It mostly occurs in overweight children because of the extra stress it placed on the ball of the hip. I am at the lower end of the BMI. Especially when it happened, I was tiny.

It is more frequent in boys than girls. 66% more common, actually.

It is more common in blacks than whites.

90% of cases are stable, 10% unstable. I had one of the worst cases of instability. "A child is considered to have "stable" SCFE if he or she can walk with or without crutches. More than 90% of cases are stable.A child who can't walk, even with crutches, has "unstable" SCFE. Unstable SCFE often occurs after a trauma, such as a sports injury or a fall. Falling can also cause a stable SCFE to be unstable." -familydoctor.org. I was unable to walk, was on crutches and then had not one, but THREE traumas. Two falls, one dicectly onto the hip, and, a slip after that. Jesus H. Christ.

60% of patients only have on slipped hip, the other 40% experience it in both. Me again.

It happens to one is 250,000 people and it happens to Drew and me a week apart. (Although he was a black male, so he's got an excuse.)

I should go to Vegas. I am apparently a great bet against impossible odds.

I'm off!

To Italy, Austria, Germany and Croatia for the European Global Challenge Tour!!!

I'm going to play volleyball at the international level. It's fucking insane. I am so excited.

I'll write all about it when I get back!




Ciao bella!

do you see me? all of me?

This is an awesome fscking picture. It's kind of how I feel like people. You see the parts you see or that they want you to see, but the rest of them is so intangible.

33 life lessons

I was using StumbleUpon a few minutes and came across this. It really justified all the things I've been thinking about the past few days and made me feel better about the choices I'm making. Some, no most of it is just so goddamn true.

1. Often those who aren’t the easiest to love are the ones who need it the most.
2. Seeing children play can make even the bluest day brighter.
3. Money is not the root of all evil, fear is.
4. The secret to happiness is the acceptance of yourself.
5. Happiness is not based on external status, it is an internal state.
6. Money can’t make me happy, but self-sufficiency gives me the freedom to share myself creatively, without worrying about how I’m going to pay the bills.
7. Every man has a right to choose his own destiny.
8. The path is the way.
9. Coming is going, going is coming.
10. The hardest is found in the easiest.
11. Heaven and hell exist here and now, within your own mind.
12. Life is the largest stage.
13. Music is one of the most supreme expressions of life. It is art in it’s most transitory form. It is gone within an instant, and therefore, extremely precious.
14. Follow your gut, you’ll thank yourself later.
15. Remember what your mother taught you, it came from the most sacred place of love that exists.
16. Never let an argument last, never hold a grudge, it will make your heart heavy.
17. Forgive those that have yet to do you wrong, and you won’t have to worry about it should the time come.
18. Be grateful for this moment, it is all there is.
19. The source of most of your frustrations and anxiety are the result of living in the future, or the past.
20. Spend time alone with yourself every day.
21. Always go with yourself, never against yourself.
22. You have to be your own best friend.
23. If you don’t like what someone else says to you, you can walk away. But if you don’t like what you say to yourself, you can’t walk away. Therefore, if you’re going to be with yourself all the time, you might as well be nice to yourself.
24. The truth shall indeed set you free.
25. Lies only exist if we believe in them.
26. Even the most fundamental beliefs about reality are not true in themselves. Our thinking makes them true in our experience.
27. Your thoughts create reality.
28. The biggest lie is the lie of your imperfection.
29. Being kind is more important than being right.
30. Your heart is your best compass.
31. Cherish those that you love, you never know if you’ll see them again.
32. Your beliefs are a filter for your reality.
33. Love is the supreme expression of life, it is the essence and ground of all creation.

I got this here. I'm very thankful that i found it because it really affirmed all the difficult decisions I've been dealing with.

There was also a passage in In the Lake of the Woods, which I just finished reading for AP English, about the fascination with the otherness of others that I really wanted to put up here but I can't find it :[



you, yes you.