Liberation Theology

I was writing the prayer for announcements for tomorrow and I was stumbling through daily prayers and came upon this.

Whatever ultimate meaning life may have,
this much can be said already--
life is a call to share in the world's making.
It is a chance to intervene, to contribute,
to enhance what exists
by the sheer power
of one's own presence and activity.
One cannot be good simply by avoiding evil.
To be indifferent or apathetic
to the needs of one's neighbor,
to stand aloof from a world begging for help,
is already to be guilty.

--Robert O. Johann

SOOOOO good. Works for my prayer and my liberation theology quote. So true.

"Everyone said, you need to give him some time. And I'm glad that I gave it to him 'cause now everything's fine. Yeah, he's a hero in disguise."

Musica

Music I really, really want but I'm broke so I'm recording this for posterity...

Give Up- The Postal Service

Left Right Wrong- Julia Nunes

I Wrote These-Julia Nunes (She is that great.)

The Fray-The Fray ( I'm going to see them in August and Jack's Mannequin is opening for them! So stoked!!)

Sleep Through the Static- Jack Johnson

Vampire Weekend-Vampire Weekend (I actually already have this and love it but it won't upload to the computer :/ )

Just the song The Climb by Miley Cyrus. Shut up.

Alright, Still-Lily Allen

So Much More-Brett Dennen

Begin to Hope-Regina Spektor

Flight of the Conchords-Flight of the Conchords


I'm going to the University of Portland in the fall and I'm going to be in the Honors Program and I am BEYOND stoked.

It is written

that explains one of the few things i'm very excited about this month just about perfectly :]

GRADUATION! I can't wait to get the eff out of here. I know who my true friends are and most of them are not in high school. So let's move on, shall we. The maturity level here is driving me nuts. Still haven't decided on a school. May put down a double deposit for more time to figure it out, especially the financial stuff. No clearer two days from the deadline than I was two months ago...

Oh and this is adorable. I LOVELOVELOVED this movie. With my whole heart. They're together in real life now :]]

You betta act fast, because supplies, they never last...

"What if I fail?” or worse, “What if I’m becoming a sell-out?” Of course these faux tragedies, these ways of being viewed, existed only in my head."


"One impossible day I was avoiding the easy task of letting go while arguing with the demons in my head in an effort to feel love, worth, to have my intuitions confirmed that what I was working on was of value. I had always been a troubadour who relied on signs and coincidences to satisfy the mystic in my mind, and on this particular day after an unsatisfying week, what I needed most was a sign.

I should have seen the signs all around me in the form of my breath taking care of my life, in the form of my apartment keeping me sheltered, in the form of MUSIC in general, and in the form of many friends I had access to by telephone. One such friend, a beautiful ray of light, offered up her usual brand of tough love, invited me to surrender to it all, to stop asking for so much."

-Jason Mraz

Pretty much my life right now. I'm doing much better on my Lenten promises. Well, I can't say promises because my posture sucks but my insecurity is getting much better. Last night I was on my way to an Eric Hutchinson concert for my birthday, what should have been nothing but joyful, and I received quite a sour bit of news that played directly on my biggest insecurity. Immediately, I felt that shock to the stomach, my abdomen tying in knots and that slightly nauseous feeling. This was not my imagination running away with me. I had been concretely lied too. Ironically, I knew so at the time. I highly suspected that person was lying just from the way it was said but I couldn't push it and didn't have any reason to say otherwise except my insecurites. I didn't know it was to this extent; I believe that it was probably even worse than I do know but I've at least wised up a bit and figured out that I don't want to know. I don't want to put myself through that. After making myself sick, I decided that I didn't want this anymore. I didn't want to be this unhappy girl who could be so utterly broken. Previously, I would have made myself sick for weeks, acted out against this person, been terribly miserable. But I enjoyed the concert. I still have questions; I believe I have a right to because I was majorly mislead and it does still hurt. I'm just not letting it control me.

Mostly because I've realized that things aren't black and white. I am not being hurt because this person is evil and wishes to cause me pain. I know for a fact that this person cares about me very much and routinely tries to prevent me from harms. Relationships are complex. You can't rule out everything good because some bad things happen. Life isn't like that. Live and learn, forgive and forget.

Lent

Now I'm not Catholic but recently I've seen parts of my life with potential for big self improvement. The beginning of Lent just happened to coincide with the realization that I am hurting myself and the people I love. I put up a good front, but most especially because of certain events that happened last year, I have become increasingly insecure. Being insecure has made me a person I don't want to be, who is unhappy and who does things that she knows she shouldn't to satisfy that craving to know that everything is okay, that she's good enough.

" 'Am I? Am I smart enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I young enough? Talented enough?' Why? Why do we not have a sense f out own dignity? Worse than that, why can't we give it to each other?What are we so afraid to tell each other how beautiful we are? Do we not have it in ourselves? Does it hurt me so much tot tell you? Can I not see it in you, because I can't see it in myself?"- Cyprian Consiglo

I often have been accused of being too competitive. And you know what? You're right. I'm constantly, even internally comparing myself with others. Recently, I noticed myself doing this and it seemed so ridiculous. Why am I doing this? Who even cares here? Why can't I stop trying to be the smartest person in the room and just be me? I just realized that I think this is why my best friend is my best friend. He's the only person that I'm not afraid to ask questions. Even if he laughs at me and calls me a dope, it's always genial and he never fails to give me a thorough answer.

So this year, for Lent, I have given up being insecure. It was a lot easier at the beginning when I was still callous and focused from recent events, and I've had some relapses but I've tried to be honest about them with others and with myself. I've learned that I'm not one that can forgive but not forget. I'm learning to let go of it all. It's time. I need to learn to love myself so that I can love others for who they are, not what they can give me to make myself whole.

"Reflect back to each other nor our projections, not our needs, not what we wish the world and each other to be, but to reflect back "you are beloved." And that would be power for us to build a world of justice and peace, one heart at a time."- C.C.

p.s. I think I'm going to send in a secret or two to PostSecret tonight as a part of this process.

Jason Mraz

is a fucking genius. And a kindred spirit. Just a quick excerpt from his latest blog...

"Recently I was turned onto the work of the 13 indigenous Grandmothers; An action team of women from the four corners of the globe who have formed an alliance to bring balance to Mother Earth and all her inhabitants for the next seven generations to come. To do work intended for seven generations is a remarkably selfless act indeed. Imagine making something that you know is meant for someone 200 years from now. It’s like planting a tree. In your lifetime you may not be able to swing from it’s branches, but long after you’re gone, many families will.

The same thought can be applied to consciousness. Are you choosing to think it’s too late to save the planet because you’re not seeing immediate results? Are you personally choosing not to change your diet and bad habits because you think it will make this week suck? Well, think of that distant you in the future who will look back and hug you for the powerful shift in consciousness you decided to make right now.

For the planet and its inhabitants who are still evolving, we may not SEE a world of enlightened beings who coexist with nature, but we can certainly SEED it."

So true. This really give me the strength to persevere. Even though people refuse to recycle, look into new energy sources or are apathetic towards starvation and war, doesn't mean they always will. We just have to keep pushing, trying to open eyes, minds and hearts.

Here's the blog for more kick-ass wisdom. Ahhhhhhhhh I love him.

Bumbling Mumblings

I don't know what the title is about. I'm really out of it. Mathews would put a big red slash through that and write "NO!!" because it rhymes. Oh Weekly Writing Assignments, I'm so looking forward to those when I get back...Actually I don't mind them when I don't get bad grades and when the feedback is helpful(which it usually always it just sometimes you pay for it with a really shitty grade.)

I spent the first half of break doing college apps. Roque had to take my Facebook away so that I could get Stanford done. Now I'm all done except I might apply to Puget Sound on the fifteenth but all that will require is a little essay. Now I'm on to scholarship apps and essays, so it's not really that much of a relief to be done. I'm surprised i got as much of my to-do list done over break, I was sure I wasn't when New Years rolled around and all I'd accomplished was my college apps. I still have a bunch of Project Backpack stuff to do and all my English homework but I think I can get it done.

I can't believe I'm a second semester senior. It's so surreal. I wouldn't say that the first semester went by slow, it just went by naturally. It was a ton of fun because my class is so close now, and exciting because of college and graduation that was blissfully impending but far enough away to not be a pressing issue, just something to look forward to. Now it seems as if there's no time left even though it's really six months. It feels strange. Before this, life has been so planned, so certain. You progress from grade to grade for twelve years and then you graduate... and all structure is gone. You don't have to go to college. It weirds me out that people don't. What do you do besides go to college? And then after college... it's so empty. It's like a timeline that's loped off. It kinda freaks me out. Suddenly the world isn't so secure anymore.

But I really do need to get out of here. I'm so excited but I still have no idea where I want to go.

I stumbledupon this. StumbleUpon is great. This is very much like what happened to me and my view on life without the panic attacks and depression. Same telos, different scopos.




I've always found a correlation in my life between lawlessness and faith. The people that I know that are most free and often engage in things discouraged by religion are often those who most adamantly profess their faith. This hypocritical nature is one of the things that turned me off to religion and really highlighted the use of religion as a crutch. Those people engage in that type of behavior because they magnify their limited, sound-byte ideas of faith and manipulate it to their will. They say they will be forgiven. Really its just a cop out for self control because they show no regret nor any inclination to halt the damaging behavior.