I can watch the sunset on my own, yeah I can be alone

I deserve so much more.

I have worked so hard to get where I am. I am who I say I am and who I am is who I want to be. And if that's not okay with you, then I don't need you in my life.

Everyone is getting all sappy over missing their friends after we all leave. But I'm not concerned with that at all. Those who matter, the true friends, will stay in touch. There will be no missing because loving is always in the present. I always struggled with this quote for the longest time. I still don't know if I want to believe it's true. "You either love someone or you never did." But I think it was so hard for me to write off because I think there is a seed of truth there. How could I not believe that after what I've been through in the last few weeks? The friends who stand by you will always be there. I tried so hard to love him, but I don't think he was mature enough. I think that has been sufficiently evident by the way he has treated me when we've broken up. If I was important to him is respects other than as a girlfriend, he would have taken care to preserve our friendship. Prom epitomized it. It was not about me, he just needs a girl. If the things that he said about loving me were true, he couldn't have been that frisky with another girl that fast(again). That's just not how it works. At least for the kind of love I'm looking for. So it was hard, but it makes it all make sense. I hope it's just a phase and that he works out whatever is causing him to act like this because that kind of behavior is gonna bite him in the ass. Hard. But he doesn't want my input so I'll let him live his life and hope it doesn't catch up to him.

I, for one. don't need someone to make me believe in myself. I am so happy with who I've become and where I'm going and I can't wait for the future. I don't have a single fear or reservation. It's fantastic.

"Up, up, up and away and over to a table at the Gratitude Cafe. And I am finally there."

The best part of being valedictorian is the happiness it will bring my family. I am the one grandchild, on either side, that is not a fuck up(well Philip and Andrew may have promise but we just don't know yet). At any rate, both of my grandpas will get to be there and I know that they are so proud of me and that this will make them so happy and I want my speech to be really good so that they have absolute justification for that. It's been a rough couple months on both sides and I think this is exactly what they need :) It's really all I can do so I'm going to do it my best.