Marriage

For our religion class, we were asked to bring in something relating to marriage or something that represents the meaning of marriage to you. I was listening to "How Lucky We Are" by Meiko and thought, "This song is about marriage. Actually, lots of songs can express things about marriage." This same day in religion, someone mentioned that the divorce rate is about 50%. This is devastating to me. I know that all marriages don't' work out. Abuse and addiction are not okay and shouldn't be tolerated. Yet I think that many of these divorces are advocated by society. In a world where celebrity matches and breakups are million dollar industries, people have gotten a lot more comfortable with divorce. Most often I hear "irreconcilable differences" cited as the reason for the split. I know it may be a bit naive, but I still believe in the kind of love that lasts. Not too long ago, I thought I had it. When you know someone deeply, enough that you would consider marrying them, you know that they have their faults, that you have your problems, but marriage is not just saying "I want to be with you a lot, and probably only with you." It is a promise to work things out, no matter how hard things get. When I get married, I don't want divorce to be an option. That's what marriage is. It's a promise to be with someone for the rest of your life. It is an expression of deep caring of what happens to that person. Yes, people change, but if you know them well enough to marry them, you will be aware of what changes them and why. You've promised to be understand and they've promised to help you understand. You promise to not run, you promise to always let them in, even if it hurts or if its not what you want. You give up personal desire to the well-being of your partner. Here are some songs that represent marriage to me.

Meiko- How Lucky We Are

One day we'll get outta this shitty apartment
One day is all it takes for things to turn around now
All I know is I got you and you got me, babe

And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

One day we'll get in the car and drive anywhere we wanna go
And then we'll stay in a five star, mini-bar, luxury hotel room
Cuz all I know is I got you and you got me, babe

And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, are, are...

One day we'll turn on the tv and we won't see nothing 'bout war
And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

How lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are

Even though things aren't great, love is still the most important. Their desires are for each other, They can pick up and leave everything as long as they are together. Even if life seems mundane, their love makes it worthwhile.

Shawn McDonald-Take My Hand

Take my hand to the promise land
And on You I want to stand
‘Cause I cannot do it on my own
You're what I need and I need to be
Right by Your side ‘cause I cannot hide
Lord, I know that I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Without You I'm so alone
I am weak but You are strong
You pick me up when I'm falling down
And I am crying
Out to You inside of my heart
I need You, Lord, oh so, for the part
I want You to have my life, Jesus
I fall to my knees
And I'm begging You, please, oh, Lord
Won't You change me
Make me new from the inside out
I want to shout out Your name


Even though this is a Christian song, it can also be applied to relationships. Neither can do anything without the other, because everything that affects one, affects the other. You can't hide from you spouse. Even if something is horribly wrong or shameful, they've both promised to work it out, and that shame is worth bearing for the sake of their love. He asks to be made new because your partner can see you objectively, your faults, your triumphs, your fears, and they can help to make you a better person, a person who lives for their love.

Jack Johnson-Do You Remember?

Do you remember when we first met? I sure do
It was some time in early September
Though you were lazy about it, you made me wait around
I was so crazy about you, I didn't mind

So I was late for class, I locked my bike to yours
It wasn't hard to find, you'd painted flowers on
Guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away
You might not roll back my direction real soon

Well, I was crazy about you then and now
The craziest thing of all, over ten years have gone by
And you're still mine, we're locked in time
Let's rewind

Do you remember when we first moved in together?
The piano took up the living room
You played me boogie-woogie I played you love songs
You'd say we're playing house now you still say we are

We built our getaway up in a tree we found
We felt so far away though we were still in town
Now I remember watching that old tree burn down
I took a picture that I don't like to look at

Well all these times they come and go
And alone don't seem so long
Over ten years have gone by
We can't rewind, we're locked in time
But you're still mine
Do you remember?"

This traces the story of a relationship exquisitely. It starts as that initial maddening infatuation, that extreme dedication. As the times passes, the relationship gets deeper, more familiar, still amazing, but more comfortable. The tree incident represents problems that were overcome. Time flies and we often take our lovers for granted, but we constantly remind ourselves of our commitment and love for one another.


Jason Mraz-Beautiful Mess

you've got the best of both worlds
you're the kind of girl who can take down a man
and lift him back up again
you are strong but you're needy
humble but you're greedy
and based on your body language and shoddy cursive I've been reading
your style is quite selective
though your mind is rather reckless
while I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is..

and what a beautiful mess this is
it's like picking up trash in dresses

well it kind of hurts when the
kind of words you write
kind of turn themselves into knifes
and don't mind my nerve
you can call it fiction
but I like being submerged
in your contradictions dear
cause here we are
here…. we…. are…

although you are biased, i love your advice
your comebacks they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
there's no shame in being crazy depending on how you take these words
i'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

but it's a beautiful mess, yes it is
it's like picking up trash in dresses

well, it kind of hurts when the
kind of words you say
kind of turn themselves into blades and
kind and courteous is a life, i've heard
but it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
cause here… here we are, here we are, here we are, here we are,
here we are, here we are, here we are, here we are, here we are
we're still here, and it's a beautiful mess, yes it is…

it's like taking a guess when the only answer is YES
through timeless words and priceless pictures, we'll fly like birds not of this earth
tides they turn, hearts disfigure
but that's no concern when we're wounded together
and we tore our dresses and stained our shirts but it's nice today;
oh the wait was so worth it

here we are.

This song accurately describes any relationship that has been hurt, but where there is true love. And in marriage, things are bound to go wrong sometimes, people hurting others with or without the intention to. But "that's not concern when we're wounded together". If both people are completely open, they can begin to heal. Keeping it bottled up only keeps it from being resolved and decays the love. Marriage and relationships are messy, but "here we are". We have these problems, and we have this life, the best thing we can do is work them out and save what's most important, our love.