there's nothing i can do for you you can't do for yourself

oh yes, you can just hold my hand; i think that that would help.


Break was AMAZING. I got to see so many people and spend lots of time with them. So glad I got to go to the Stanford/Cal game. It was fabulous. I have missed April and Denise a lot.

School is insane. Presentation due Wed, rough draft of a five page paper that I still have to read a book for due tomorrow, 12 page paper I haven't started due Monday, along with my Public Speaking final, German test, 5 page religion paper and the only test for the whole semester in religion due that day. FANTASTIC. The bright side is that I only have two finals finals week so I'm pretty done after next week. I'll just have a speech paper and the honors presentation to go. But that involes a party so yay :)

My room is so Christmased out. It's amazing. Hooray door decorating contest!

The Hill

you

getting nowhere on an upwards slope

staring at the sky

dreaming of angels more perfect

than the most delicate bloom

lying crushed and dying beneath your oblivious sole

reckoning sweet and ghostly kisses

upon your fettered lips

i have seen the top of the hill

the deepest crevice

i too remember that night of breathtaking stars

and the soft, effervescent meadow

in my curling toes

eyelashes fleecy and gentle upon my gooseflesh,
then gone with the wind,

two wishes, two ways

gravity, inescapable

but chained by bygone kisses, you resist

oh but the wisdom of the world;

newton knew better

my feet begin to slide, itching for more ground

the grass begins to grow too long

itching for new life

longing to escape your stifling stance

slope steepens, i'm gaining speed

and you pass out of sight

i catch up wildflowers in my arms

as the wind catches up my soul

caresses of a different kind

similarly sweet

but they linger longer,

a sweet breath of promise,

steady and safe,

without fear.

faster, faster

the sights
of cities

synthesize below

a whirlwind

so wide and deep

I catch

small snippets of

the timeless

nymphs

whispering

the secrets

of exuberance,

ecstasy

free, but not alone

love

radiates

from

all

b

o

u

n

d

s

.

I go freely, swiftly

with the grounding gravity of hope,

sure it will lead me safely

to his wonderfully strange

and cradling shores.

wow. that felt really good. i haven't written any poetry in a while. just haven't really been inspired lately. but i just saw things much more clearly. i guess this was kind of a response to my own post about time in it's own way.

Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow, carrying with Her the good things we know...

"The Ballad of Love and Hate" is amazing. One of the most lyrically powerful songs I've ever heard. I love the duality of it all. It's a personified narrative but also maintains commentary on the abstracts of love and hate. My favorite word in the whole song is "whatever"; their play on it is magnificent, especially in this day and age. I feel like it's a commentary on our attitudes as a society. "Whatever" has come to mean "I don't care", or even further, "I don't care about you", divorce rates go up, relationships fail, meaning falls through. But when we actively turn that dismissal on it's head, when we revert to the true sense of the word, "regardless" or "through all things", we regain the wholesome, truly loving relationship. Genius.
This week went well. Aced my persuasive speech. I emailed Mathews to say thanks after I got that complement on my analysis. It was good to get in touch with him. I really feel like that class utterly prepared me for college. He invited me to coffee over break and to come back to speak to AP English, which should be fun because at least four kids from SF have told me they're interesting in UP and want to visit me. I'm so excited to show them around! Also been in touch with Marheineke about the papers for Cade's baptism. He sounds like he's really getting things going there, he said that he got to meet Sr. Helen Prejean and give a talk at a human rights conference. I'm so excited for him because that can only mean more opportunities for core team. He told me to graduate already so they can hire me at St. Francis and help him change the world. It was weird because I was just realized a few weeks ago that I might want to do that when I was talking to Janie about what I want to do after school. It just came out and I realized I'd love to do that. I got a lot from that school and I'd like to give that back to future generations. Plus that community is just so well connected, you can get a lot done. So during politics the other day, I looked up what it would take to change my major to teaching, and that's DEFINITELY not going to happen, but that doesn't have to be the only path I'd take. I could always do Denise's job, I already know it all already anyway haha.

So tonight was registration. It was extremely stressful but Maya, Lindsey, Annie and I just had a registration party in my room and we all got each other prepped and through it successfully. So here are my courses for next semester. For now I'm a Organizational Communications major with a potential Social Justice Minor, if I can squeeze it in. But with Salzburg I use up a lot of my elective credits and Org Comm has more upper division hours than most majors so I'm basically going to be doing all of those when I get back.

Intro to Philo- Evangelist
Macroenomonics-Allender
Elementary German-Hill
Writing and Reporting-Weisensee
Entrepreneurial Marketing-Ritter
and then, I seriously just decided to take this on the spot, because everyone else had more than 15 credits and I felt like a slacker, and I don't have any classes Tuesday or Thursday and I don't like that because I want something to get me out of bed and get me going, and I want that social justice minor so I added
Foundations of Education-Antcil

It can only have 5 people in it, interestingly enough, and I am only the 2nd person to register for it. I'm going to talk to my advisor about it. I can always drop it if I'm too busy. Prof looks awesome though. I'm so happy with Hill for German too, I'll definitely miss her next year. Macro is going to suck but Molly and possibly Kelly are in it, and I'll have it all out of the way when I get back from Salzburg. I found that my 5 on AP Bio got me out of TWO WHOLE SCIENCE classes so I don't have to take science ever again! Although I was kind of looking forward to the chemistry and art class, but it really did involve science so that's okay hah. I feel like Weisensee will be better for writing and reporting because she's actually a free lance and her writing is really good. And gives me a lot of constructive feedback on my writing. Plus, she's really nice. With all that and Relay for Life, Honors, Border Plunge, CEC, and Social Science Club, I'll be pretty busy but hopefully I'll stay sane :) I just really hope that I have time to do E-scholars junior year. That program looks awesome.

They'll name a city after us, then later say it's all our fault

So much good music going around right now. I saw Landon Pigg and A Fine Frenzy last night. They were both great. A Fine Frenzy has such an amazing voice. I didn't like her live version of the Minnow and the Trout or Rangers as much as the recorded versions, but that was just because they were stylistically different. Nonetheless, the power of her voice live is unrivaled. I LOVED the live version of What I Wouldn't Do. She has the incredibly ability to sing softly, almost huskily, and still belt it out. It was an incredible combination. Although Landon Pigg didn't play Can't Let Go, my FAVORITE song, I got to meet him and give him a hug and get a picture and an autograph. I was so excited, I was slightly dumb for a minute but then my words caught up with me and I got to talk to him about Can't Let Go. He said he was considering playing it, and I was considering shouting it out, but neither of us did, so we decided I just have to go to another show of his :)

Today started off pretty crappily. Found out that this extremely annoying kid is going to Salzburg. I wouldn't normally bother me, but my Nikki experience shows me that irritating people in close quarters in foreign countries is hard for me. He'd be in ALL of my classes and on vacations and stuff. So that's something to think about.

Then I called to make my appointment for my wisdom teeth and they didn't have any appointments after Christmas. So I have to get them out the 18th, the day after I fly home. Which means that at the five or so days I normally love most out of the whole year I will be incapacitated. And that I won't get to help Marhein with a really awesome service project. Or possibly get to eat Christmas dinner and more importantly See's candy. But friends have promised lots of movies and Christmas music and frozen yogurt so that should help.

My day got a little better when I went to my meeting with Weisensee. She said my essay was "exemplary analysis" and that this is kind of thinking is exactly what leads to success in upper division classes and I got the highest grade in the class. Which was nice. I seem to do exceptionally on essays and still working out the kinks on what material is most important for exams.

Hopefully I can finish out these last few days until Thanksgiving break with a good jump on things. That would be todschick ;)